#oklaed chat 10/6 questiond

Here are the questions for the 10/6 #oklaed chat.  The topic is ethical leadership.

What does ethical leadership look like to you?

What role does vision and purpose play in ethical leadership?

What does this idea of ethical leadership look like in a classroom?

How do stakeholders affect ethical decision making?

How can political and social agendas undermine ethics? 

What are some ethical dilemmas common to education?

How are these dilemmas resolved in your setting? Or are they?

What bold actions must educators take to act ethically?

Can true leadership and unethical practices coexist? Why or why not?

As #oklaed what do we expect to see from our leaders in regard to ethics?

The War Within

If you are anything like me you have times when you face intense intrapersonal conflict.  Times when your soul is battling between two (maybe more) ideas that seem to both be justified or pleasing to your soul.  Sometimes one of those ideas is clearly wrong, but we want to do it anyway.  Sometimes it is difficult to differentiate which one is the path to take.  

I've been facing one of these intrapersonal conflicts lately.  Having started on my doctoral program, I've been busy with huge amounts of reading, combined with the busy schedule of school activities and a home life filled with my husband and three kids.  My spirit has been torn because I'm trying to do it all.  Have I mentioned that pride is one of my biggest downfalls and sin issues?  I know that it is part of God's plan for me to be working on my Doctorate, but I also know the importance of maintaining my biblical duties as the mother and wife in our home.  

I've been beating myself up because I can't physically do all the things that I've got on my plate.  I am so fortunate to have a wonderful husband who has stepped up and sees the validity of my personal goal as part of God's plan for our family.  He is willing to fill the gap and to help out more at home as I have for him for so many years.  And while he was saying this over and over, I refused to listen to him and continued to beat myself up for not doing it all.  Why was I doing this??? The fact that I realized what I was doing frustrated me even more.

Then I remembered one of my favorite authors in the Bible, Paul.  He was always straight forward and said what needed to be said.  He continually struggled with this type of intrapersonal conflict and mentioned it frequently.  Romans 7 is filled with a description of his struggle with sin.  We all do this.  If you can't think of something right now that you struggle with, I would encourage you to be a little more reflective because no one is perfect.  

Check out vs. 15  "I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." and vs 22-23 "For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members."

Paul gets me!  He understands how frustrating it is to be conflicted in my spirit!

Here's the awesome part.  He didn't stop at chapter 7 and just wallow in self-pity.  Chapter 8 is filled with encouragement about life in the Spirit and following God's plan.  We are his children.

Check out vs. 14-15 "because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.  For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear but you received the Spirit of sonship.  And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' " and vs 28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

I am so thankful that Paul didn't give up and that he kept on writing.  I needed that word of encouragement tonight.  If you are anything like me and are facing a personal soul conflict, go read Romans 7-8.  It will bless your day and let you know you aren't alone.

Irons in the Fire

The week was our first week back at school with students.  We started on a Monday this year.  Oh my goodness, there is a reason we usually start on a Thursday or Friday.  Every child and adult in the building was exhausted by Friday afternoon.  You could visibly see it on everyone's faces as they walked/ran out the door on Friday.

That being said it was a wonderful start to this new year.  So many changes happening in our district and building, but we still had a peaceful and great start.  There is a peace around the building that is fantastic.  New initiatives are underway and while they may seem daunting to some at the moment I know they will ease into them nicely once they get more acquainted with them.  We added reading into the schedule for every student this year and have built in remediation during the day for students struggling to meet proficiency levels.  I'm sure I'll blog about these as we go through this school year.  I moved up to 8th grade assistant principal  this year as well.  I'm looking forward to working with the older students to prep them for high school.

On the home-front we have been attending adoption classes through DHS this month.  We have one more class and then our home studies this next week.  Once those items are complete, we should be ready to begin looking at child(ren) placement.  The classes have been exhausting, especially since they coincided with the beginning of the school year.  27 hours of training in the evenings is killer, but worth it.  The kids are super excited about the prospect of our new addition to the family.  Every time we return from class, our youngest asks if they said we could have a kid yet.  We spent the summer, simplifying our home and prepping for additions into the family.  I cannot wait to meet the child(ren) that God has planned to join our family.

This spring, our district proposed to start a cohort through the University of Oklahoma in the Educational Administration in Curriculum and Supervision Doctoral Program.  I am so excited to have been accepted into this program.  We began our first classes this past week, coinciding with the first week of school.  Luckily, we only meet once a week.  The workload will be tremendous, but the outcome will be worth it.  My husband is more excited about the fact that it is through OU than anything.  It'll feed his passion for college football more.  I am so thankful that he is so encouraging and supportive of all my educational endeavors.  

At church we are in the process of announcing our vision plan for the next 5 years.  We are unveiling it Sunday after church.  I look forward to these plans with great anticipation.  I'll be sharing more about it in the coming months I'm sure.

As I spent time with my kids this evening, I was thankful for the precious time I have with them.  I may have many irons in the fire right now, but God has a plan for each of them.  He will give me the stamina and endurance I need to stay the course.  I missed my kids this week in the evenings, when I was working on various parts of all these areas.  I am thankful that I am given time to enjoy them between the craziness and look forward to things slowing down a bit in a week or two.

Some may look at all the things I have going on right now and think I am crazy.  If I were looking from the outside in I would probably think the same thing.  Fortunately, I know the plans He has prepared for me, and I know the outcome will be good.  In the meantime, if I look tired, it's probably because I am.  Who isn't these days?

Empowered

We all want to feel empowered, like we can do what it is we need to do to be successful.  Remember last week when I was feeling anxious and didn't know why?  I hated that feeling.  My husband is so good at encouraging me and helping me to focus on the positives in my life.  It redirects me and always empowers me.  I am so thankful that he does this for me.  Sometimes I just get overwhelmed and begin to doubt myself and my calling and purpose.  I know I am capable of being successful in the various areas of my life.  Sometimes I just forget and need a gentle reminder and the empowerment to continue moving forward.

We all have people in our lives that need to be empowered.  Who is your main supporter?  The person who encourages you and empowers you to press on?  Who in your life are you meant to encourage and empower?

Our children/family need to be empowered by us to try new things and know that we'll always love them even when they struggle.  Knowing they are loved no matter what will empower them to blossom into the person God has created them to be.

In education, we need to empower our students/colleagues to take risks as they learn or teach.  We need to remind them that the only true failure is when we give up, stop trying, and settle for less than the best.  We need to hold them accountable to being the best they can be.  This past week I was visiting with two teachers, who are fabulous.  They were at work on their own time working on lesson plans based on the changes made as we move to Common Core.  I could see the overwhelming look in their faces, that same overwhelming feeling I had experienced the previous weekend.  I am so thankful that I recognized it and was able to remind them of their skill and empower them.  They are fabulous and just needed that nudge to press on.

As a church we need to be encouraging each other to step out of our comfort zones and to share the love of God with others.  We need to be holding each other accountable to spiritual growth.  We need to be reminding each other that we have a God-given purpose and empowering each other to press on toward that purpose.  What greater encouragement could there be?!  If God has called us to carry out a task then He has prepared us to complete that task faithfully.  That is empowering.

What are you called to do?  Do you trust that you are capable of doing it?  Be empowered as you carry out those tasks.

Where's your focus?

I have had so much fun this summer.  It has been completely relaxing and productive at the same time.  My kids are at the age that we can enjoy doing more activities with them.  We were able to take a wonderful family vacation to Disney with my mom, stepdad, brother, and niece.  They were able to ride everything for the most part and really enjoy all of the parks.  We rented a house together and spent some quality time together as a family.  We figured this would be the last summer for a while to be able to do this since I'm starting my doctoral program at OU this fall.

We also got season passes to the OKC Riversport which has kayaking, ziplines, ropes courses, and a ton of other stuff.  It amazes me how active our kids are and how willing they are to step out and try new things.  We bowled a lot since it is free for kids during the summer and the pass for adults is super cheap.  Every time we bowled we made up different names for us by theme.  We cleaned out and simplified our house in preparation for the addition of another child when we complete the adoption process through OKDHS.  This allowed us to get some things done around the house that we've put off doing and to prioritize the remaining honey-do list.  It has been busy, but stress free for the most part.

My oldest is entering middle school.  She is super excited to be a part of the youth group at church.  She can't wait to pick up her instrument for band.  She is bugging every day about it and we just haven't made the trip to get it yet.  Our middle child will be in 5th grade and is thrilled to be in advanced math again this year.  She loves it.  Our youngest can't wait to start 1st grade.  Things are in full swing here as we prepare for school to start for them.  Supplies are purchased.  Backpacks are ready.  They just need to meet their teachers and await the first day of school.

And then comes the time for me to go back to work.  I usually look forward to this with great expectation, typically because like any parent I've had my fill of time with the kids.  But I've enjoyed this summer very much as previously stated...more than usual.  I returned to work this last Tuesday.  I am excited to get back to work.  I love where I work.  I love the adults and the children with whom I work.  I moved upstairs to be the eighth grade principal.  It has taken me several days to move my belongings and I'm still not completely set up.  I have boxes to unpack before I'll really feel settled in and focused.  I'm excited to see how all the new changes in staff, schedule, and expectations will impact our students.  

But, there is this anxiety that I have felt each night since returning.  I can feel it beginning as I drive home, rising in my chest.  I'm not sure where it is coming from.  I don't know if it is because I have sat in meetings and haven't done much else or what.  My to-do list is growing, but I haven't checked anything off of it.  Whatever it is, I need it to go away.  It is making the last bit of summer for my kids not so fun.  I want to finish out their summer with them in the same stress-free manner which we have experienced all summer long.  I need to focus on the great things in my life.  I don't even know what is causing the anxiety, so I don't know what to fix.  I have a great God and a great family.  I shouldn't feel this anxiety.  It is stupid.  I am so fortunate to have so many blessings in my life that I should be able to focus on those.  Lord, help me to focus on You and the blessings you have given in my life.

What's the Difference?

We all have a purpose.  What are you doing today that is preparing you for the next step in the purpose to which you are called?  Do you recognize the tasks you currently do as preparation for a higher calling? I participate, as often as possible, in a Bible study through our church.  We recently began a new study on Gideon by @priscillashirer which discusses this idea.  It is fabulous.  You should check it out.  

This leads me to an idea that I've been tossing around recently.  I noticed some similarities and differences in my areas of interest on twitter and I thought I'd share them with you.  I promise I'll tie it all together at the end.

Over the past several years I have been increasing my professional use of twitter.  I began, like most, by following some suggested education handles @educationweek, @discoveryed, etc.  At first I was simply reading articles and blogs posted by people I followed.  Soon I began to expand my little personal learning network to include authors of books I was currently reading (@toddwhitaker, @timelmore).  I found myself checking out the chats (#edchat, #educoach, #oklaed to name a few) and lurking, adding to my PLN along the way.  There was a natural progression.  Next I began posting with the hashtags, but at times that would provide little feedback and engagement from others.  Soon this wasn't enough.  I wanted to engage and make my voice heard.  I wanted to have ongoing dialogue with others in my field.  I began participating in chats more this year.  I don't always make them at the designated time but they have expanded my PLN more than I could have imagined or have done without the use of technology.  @principalJ, @mrpowerscms, @rafranzdavis, @khurdhorst, and @burgessdave, for example, all live in different states but we've connected through twitter.  Amazing!  They have encouraged me to blog and to put my thoughts out there for the world to know.  As a person who would not normally engage others in conversation this has been exciting and freeing.  I look forward to continuing to grow with my fellow education lovers as we begin this next school year.

I began to grow my personal, Christian, PLN similarly at the same time on twitter.  I started off following some suggested Christian handles and pastors that intrigued me like @tonymorganlive, @tonynolanlive, and @pastormark.  I've expanded this group to include other speakers and authors I enjoy.  Here's where the distinct difference occurs.  There are very few trending chats and hashtags to follow to grow your PLN in this area.  No place to make your voice heard or to have in-depth conversations on real meaningful topics.  

Yes, I know that your local church is a physical place to make this happen, but sometimes you need more.  Just like for my education lovers, we have professional development through our school and/or district, but we seek out additional resources and conversations on our own.  Our love of education prompts us to do this.  Likewise, our love for God should draw us to learn more about Him through study of His Word and dialogue with fellow Christians.  It should be a natural progression as we grow.  On twitter there is a gap in this progression.  The dialogue is missing to an extent.

God brought this to my attention while reading an article on Twitter from churchleaders.com about cultural trends the church should not ignore.  It brought up the point about giving a voice to those who are part of the church both online and in-person.  Churches typically do a good job of providing in-person opportunities to make your voice heard.  There are not many online opportunities available without knowing where to look.  

Here's where it all hopefully ties together.  I'll be starting a new chat focused on the learning and growth I hope to see in Christians the way I see it portrayed in educational chats.  Each week on Tuesdays at 8:00 pm CST I'll be hosting/moderating this positive and encouraging chat with Biblically-based questions that will be posted on my blog site a day or two prior.  The first chat will begin on August 6, 2013.  The hashtag to follow will be #faithedchat.  Please pray about joining me and spread the word to those you believe would be interested in an idea like this.

Thoughts? Ideas?  I'd love to know what you think.

What Matters Most

We all have a circle of influence which extends from our family to church and work and out to others with whom we come in contact. Making a person in our circle of influence feel safe, secure, cared for, and loved must precede any expectation we have of them opening up to us, learning from us or respecting us.  Maslow's hierarchy of needs affirms this idea.  In the Bible, Matthew 22 tells us that the second greatest thing we can do is to love others as much as we love ourselves preceded only by loving God with all our being.  The Bible also encourages us to take care of others and to make sure that their needs are met.  Mark 6 and Acts 2 provide examples for us in this matter.  

That being said I have really struggled with this blog.  I know the importance of it.  I am great at parts of it and struggle with other parts.  I'm reflective.  I know my weaknesses and am working on them.   I want my blog to be more personal but I've been keeping my entries at a safe level of communication.  That's why I had to put this down last night, cry for a bit, talk through it with my pastor husband, and begin again today. 

I am an introvert.  Seriously.  Unless you are my family I have a difficult time letting people into my life.  At work I can talk to kids and talk business with the faculty and parents but I don't often go further than this.  It is hard for me to let people in because I don't want to be hurt.  I keep people at an arms length away.  It isn't intentional.  It's just a safety measure I've put in place that haunts me.   I want to connect with people on a more intimate level but I have found few people who will take the initiative to go beyond my hard exterior to see me for who I really am and get to know me.  I am an introvert.  I'm not going to seek out the friendships on my own.  If you are an introvert you understand what I'm saying, maybe not on every detail, but on the basic idea of it.

Relationships matter.  We need them.  We were created to desire relationship.  Knowing our basic needs are met and that we are cared for and safe in our different environments will allow us to connect on a deeper level to those within that community environment.  It will allow us to focus on respect, confidence, learning, and achievement.  The relationship is key.  If we don't get to know those around us on a sincere level we cannot expect them to learn from us or grow with us.  For people who are introverts this can be very difficult at times, almost paralyzing.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 

― Maya Angelou

That quote sums it up.  If we don't connect with people and make them feel loved, we are wasting our time.  I want people to feel loved when they are around me.

I'm great at making my family feel loved.  My immediate family anyway.  I'm not so great at staying in contact and making my extended family feel loved.  For that I have regret and want to improve, but my introverted instinct gets in the way frequently.

I do an awesome job of connecting with students and helping to meet their needs so they can better focus on learning.  They frequently open up more with me than they do to others.  I love that and it is why I love my career.

I do a horrible job of connecting with people outside of these two areas.  I can help people with basic needs, but I know I should be doing so much more.

I help teachers at work with professional development, but I know I could do more if I took the time to develop more safe and secure relationships with them. That is one of my focal points for this year.  If you are one of my education friends please encourage me in this manner.

At church I have a difficult time connecting with people.  As an introvert, by the time I've put myself out there all week with teachers, students, and parents I am emotionally exhausted.  I don't take the time to develop the relationships like I should there.  For my church, please help me by reaching out to me.  I long for connections here, but they are few and far between.  Remember that I'm an introvert and may not seek you out.  

Okay.  I've let you into my mind enough for today.  Relationships are so important.  Take the time to evaluate your own personality and your relationships.  Where could you improve?  I've got some growing to do.  I know they are important and I'll be investing more in this area.  Just be patient with me and don't expect me to go head first and at warp speed.  Know where I am and I'll get to know where you are and we'll grow together.  And by all means, if I've offended you in the past know it was most likely a mistake.  Talk to me and let me know.  Ask questions.  There are lots of layers to me, more than what you see on the surface.

Do you know what the needs of people in your circle of influence are?  Do they all have roofs over their heads and food for their bellies?  Do they feel safe and loved?  What could you do to help them meet these needs so they can grow and better themselves?  It will make you a better person in the process, just like it'll make me a better person as I focus on growing in my areas of weakness.

Here's to growing together to become more like Christ in the process.