I have had so much fun this summer. It has been completely relaxing and productive at the same time. My kids are at the age that we can enjoy doing more activities with them. We were able to take a wonderful family vacation to Disney with my mom, stepdad, brother, and niece. They were able to ride everything for the most part and really enjoy all of the parks. We rented a house together and spent some quality time together as a family. We figured this would be the last summer for a while to be able to do this since I'm starting my doctoral program at OU this fall.
We also got season passes to the OKC Riversport which has kayaking, ziplines, ropes courses, and a ton of other stuff. It amazes me how active our kids are and how willing they are to step out and try new things. We bowled a lot since it is free for kids during the summer and the pass for adults is super cheap. Every time we bowled we made up different names for us by theme. We cleaned out and simplified our house in preparation for the addition of another child when we complete the adoption process through OKDHS. This allowed us to get some things done around the house that we've put off doing and to prioritize the remaining honey-do list. It has been busy, but stress free for the most part.
My oldest is entering middle school. She is super excited to be a part of the youth group at church. She can't wait to pick up her instrument for band. She is bugging every day about it and we just haven't made the trip to get it yet. Our middle child will be in 5th grade and is thrilled to be in advanced math again this year. She loves it. Our youngest can't wait to start 1st grade. Things are in full swing here as we prepare for school to start for them. Supplies are purchased. Backpacks are ready. They just need to meet their teachers and await the first day of school.
And then comes the time for me to go back to work. I usually look forward to this with great expectation, typically because like any parent I've had my fill of time with the kids. But I've enjoyed this summer very much as previously stated...more than usual. I returned to work this last Tuesday. I am excited to get back to work. I love where I work. I love the adults and the children with whom I work. I moved upstairs to be the eighth grade principal. It has taken me several days to move my belongings and I'm still not completely set up. I have boxes to unpack before I'll really feel settled in and focused. I'm excited to see how all the new changes in staff, schedule, and expectations will impact our students.
But, there is this anxiety that I have felt each night since returning. I can feel it beginning as I drive home, rising in my chest. I'm not sure where it is coming from. I don't know if it is because I have sat in meetings and haven't done much else or what. My to-do list is growing, but I haven't checked anything off of it. Whatever it is, I need it to go away. It is making the last bit of summer for my kids not so fun. I want to finish out their summer with them in the same stress-free manner which we have experienced all summer long. I need to focus on the great things in my life. I don't even know what is causing the anxiety, so I don't know what to fix. I have a great God and a great family. I shouldn't feel this anxiety. It is stupid. I am so fortunate to have so many blessings in my life that I should be able to focus on those. Lord, help me to focus on You and the blessings you have given in my life.
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