What Matters Most

We all have a circle of influence which extends from our family to church and work and out to others with whom we come in contact. Making a person in our circle of influence feel safe, secure, cared for, and loved must precede any expectation we have of them opening up to us, learning from us or respecting us.  Maslow's hierarchy of needs affirms this idea.  In the Bible, Matthew 22 tells us that the second greatest thing we can do is to love others as much as we love ourselves preceded only by loving God with all our being.  The Bible also encourages us to take care of others and to make sure that their needs are met.  Mark 6 and Acts 2 provide examples for us in this matter.  

That being said I have really struggled with this blog.  I know the importance of it.  I am great at parts of it and struggle with other parts.  I'm reflective.  I know my weaknesses and am working on them.   I want my blog to be more personal but I've been keeping my entries at a safe level of communication.  That's why I had to put this down last night, cry for a bit, talk through it with my pastor husband, and begin again today. 

I am an introvert.  Seriously.  Unless you are my family I have a difficult time letting people into my life.  At work I can talk to kids and talk business with the faculty and parents but I don't often go further than this.  It is hard for me to let people in because I don't want to be hurt.  I keep people at an arms length away.  It isn't intentional.  It's just a safety measure I've put in place that haunts me.   I want to connect with people on a more intimate level but I have found few people who will take the initiative to go beyond my hard exterior to see me for who I really am and get to know me.  I am an introvert.  I'm not going to seek out the friendships on my own.  If you are an introvert you understand what I'm saying, maybe not on every detail, but on the basic idea of it.

Relationships matter.  We need them.  We were created to desire relationship.  Knowing our basic needs are met and that we are cared for and safe in our different environments will allow us to connect on a deeper level to those within that community environment.  It will allow us to focus on respect, confidence, learning, and achievement.  The relationship is key.  If we don't get to know those around us on a sincere level we cannot expect them to learn from us or grow with us.  For people who are introverts this can be very difficult at times, almost paralyzing.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 

― Maya Angelou

That quote sums it up.  If we don't connect with people and make them feel loved, we are wasting our time.  I want people to feel loved when they are around me.

I'm great at making my family feel loved.  My immediate family anyway.  I'm not so great at staying in contact and making my extended family feel loved.  For that I have regret and want to improve, but my introverted instinct gets in the way frequently.

I do an awesome job of connecting with students and helping to meet their needs so they can better focus on learning.  They frequently open up more with me than they do to others.  I love that and it is why I love my career.

I do a horrible job of connecting with people outside of these two areas.  I can help people with basic needs, but I know I should be doing so much more.

I help teachers at work with professional development, but I know I could do more if I took the time to develop more safe and secure relationships with them. That is one of my focal points for this year.  If you are one of my education friends please encourage me in this manner.

At church I have a difficult time connecting with people.  As an introvert, by the time I've put myself out there all week with teachers, students, and parents I am emotionally exhausted.  I don't take the time to develop the relationships like I should there.  For my church, please help me by reaching out to me.  I long for connections here, but they are few and far between.  Remember that I'm an introvert and may not seek you out.  

Okay.  I've let you into my mind enough for today.  Relationships are so important.  Take the time to evaluate your own personality and your relationships.  Where could you improve?  I've got some growing to do.  I know they are important and I'll be investing more in this area.  Just be patient with me and don't expect me to go head first and at warp speed.  Know where I am and I'll get to know where you are and we'll grow together.  And by all means, if I've offended you in the past know it was most likely a mistake.  Talk to me and let me know.  Ask questions.  There are lots of layers to me, more than what you see on the surface.

Do you know what the needs of people in your circle of influence are?  Do they all have roofs over their heads and food for their bellies?  Do they feel safe and loved?  What could you do to help them meet these needs so they can grow and better themselves?  It will make you a better person in the process, just like it'll make me a better person as I focus on growing in my areas of weakness.

Here's to growing together to become more like Christ in the process.