Reflecting on 2013 and a Look at the New 2014

     During Winter Break I read a book by my new friend, Dr. Ben Michaelis, entitled Your Next Big Thing.  It contains ten steps to help you begin moving forward toward your purpose.  While I am a reflective person, in general, it was good to process through the steps and refocus on my purpose and make minor corrections along the way.  The most beneficial steps for me were using imagination and play and then also facing my inner critic.  I have a relatively active inner critic and deal with her often.  It was helpful to work through the feelings and origin of my inner critic.  That topic will be reserved for another time.  Today, as we have entered a new year, I want to share how our family ended 2013.

On New Year's Eve we spent time together as a family playing board games, minute to win it games, and having a glow in the dark dance party.

We also spent some time reflecting on our top events of 2013 as a family and making big plans for 2014.  It was a time for us all to use our imagination and relive some of our fun moments in 2013 and to think about fun things to do together as a family in 2014.  Please indulge me as I share some of our favorite events from 2013 and our big plans for 2014.

Top 2013 Events

Kayaking together at Stinchcomb Wildlife Refuge and other fun activities at Riversport

Disney vacation, including the trip to and from, and stops along the way like Graceland

Geocaching and hiking different places like Mt. Scott

Going to concerts together like WinterJam, Trans-Siberian Orchestra, and even Seussical Jr at my school

Spending time with family at home, at Nanas' and Papas' houses, and at holidays

Activities the kids were involved in like soccer, Tball, choir, drama, band

Academic achievements like improved reading, math awards, science awards, and better behavior

Going to Thunder and OU games

Church activities like moving into youth group, Stage 252, and bubba getting baptized

Deciding to adopt and moving through this process as a family to prepare our home for a new child

Starting on my doctorate and how that is a family event

Dad working on repurposing old furniture into new pieces for our house

Big 2014 Plans (knowing we won't have a big vacation this year)

Adopting a child(ren)

Iceskating

Mini-trips for hiking and geocaching

Riversport passes again for kayaking and stuff

Attend concerts downtown

Go to movies (we like this a lot)

Go to Thunder and OU games

Improve health through diet and exercise as a family - all family - mud run, bike riding, running    

   5K/10K, exercising. Kids - soccer, Tball, skateboarding (bubba)

Art, piano, guitar, and vocal lessons

Lots of family time

More time with friends

Continue reading and learning

Increase Bible study as a family and individually

Bubba wants a new house - not sure about this one :)

These are not all inclusive lists, but were what we talked about on New Year's Eve.  I loved being able to reflect and imagine together as a family.  The conversations allowed Hank and I to get to the heart of what our kids love, remember, and enjoy.  While the games and silly things we did were fun and memorable that night, the quality time with family was most meaningful for me.

Happy New Year from the Hesters!

No Limits

Have you ever taken the time to consider what you would do if there were no limitations set: if money did not matter, if time were not an issue? Have you considered your purpose and begun working toward it?

I spent some time this evening pondering this question.  I've done so frequently in my life.  Contemplating this question brings focus to my purpose and allows me to redirect if I get off the path that I know I need to be headed down.

As a Christian, I've known part of my purpose for much of my life.  It has taken various forms depending on my age and place in life, but it has always included a desire to share Christ and His love with others, especially those in lower socioeconomic areas with a focus on children.

From an early age, I knew I wanted to be in education.  I love working with children and seeing the impact that I can make in their lives.  It blesses me to no end when I see a former student finding success and fulfilling their purpose in life.  The ability to be a consistent figure in the life of a child when they may not have much consistency elsewhere motivates me to connect with kids, especially those in tough situations.

When I considered the question this evening about what I'd do if there were no limitations and no longer had to work I knew where the answers would lie.  However, there were some noticeable changes to this purpose from the last time I evaluated my purpose in life.  These changes are already in process, but needed to be recognized clearly as part of my purpose in life not just random acts.

Here are some of the key points that I recognize as part of my purpose:

• quality relationships with my husband and kids to raise them in a Godly home filled with love
• continuing education both for myself and others
• adopting children into our home and sponsoring children abroad
• serving in low socioeconomic areas to meet spiritual and physical needs
• going on mission trips to serve abroad
• working with kids in various ways - spiritual and character development, tutoring, mentoring

I long to see all of these pieces of my purpose in place.  Some are already in place and going quite nicely, some are in the process of happening and need to be nurtured, and some are yet to happen.  It brings excitement and energy to my life knowing my purpose.

"I say this because I know what I am planning for you,” says the Lord. “I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future. (Jeremiah 29:11 NCV)

11/24 #oklaed questions

#oklaed questions 11/24

Finding the balance between building relationships and discipline with students

Q1) How important are relationships with students in your current position? What does it look like? #oklaed

Q2) Think of the most effective teacher/admin you know.  What does building student relationships look like in their role? #oklaed

Q3) How does a lack of relationships with students affect student learning? Examples. #oklaed

Q4) How do relationships, or a lack thereof, affect student behavior? Examples. #oklaed

Q5) If consequences must occur for student behavior, what is the purpose of the consequence? Punishment or discipline? #oklaed

Q6) Should discipline in the classroom (or in the office) be adjusted due to established relationships? Why or why not? #oklaed

Q7) If it should be adjusted, how do you handle noticed differences? If it shouldn't be adjusted, how do you handle SpEd limitations for example? #oklaed

Q8) How do you help other faculty members who struggle with relationship building or discipline that is off the mark? #oklaed

Q9) What professional development have you attended that you consider highly effective in these areas? #oklaed

Importance of Play

Tonight's #oklaed chat was about blogging and I realized it had been a while since I blogged last.  I put so much stress on myself to make sure that it is a certain length or of "high importance".  I'm not sure how I decide what an appropriate length is or what topics are of high enough importance.  Don't ask me, because I honestly can't tell you.  I've decided that is silly.

I originally started blogging to share my ideas with others.  However, if I wait around for lots of quality time to produce the "just right" blog it isn't going to happen.  My husband laughs at me all the time, because I have the Goldilocks complex.  I want things to be "just right" and it often doesn't happen.  Then I stress and get things done, and it usually involves tears at home. (That's a completely separate blog - importance of stress)

That being said, hopefully you'll start seeing more blogs from me.  They may be short and sometimes the topics may just be something trivial.  Sometimes we just need to relax and have some fun, even at work.

This brings me to the current topic - the importance of play.  I went to the Ethical Leadership Conference at the end of September and one of the speakers was Dr. Ben Michaelis, a clinical psychologist and author.  He spoke on the importance of play in our lives.  It was great and motivational, but I just took notes and went on to the next session like a good little doctoral student.  The idea stuck with me though and it has been percolating since then.  And like all good coffee, there comes a time when it's finished percolating and needs to be enjoyed.

Play is a natural part of who we are.  Sometimes as adults we try to suppress play, but it is so important to our mental, physical, and emotional health.  It helps us get to possibility in our lives.  It provides freedom and opens up the process to more creative and imaginative thought.  For adults, sometimes the play is physical, but at other times it's mental (word play, problem solving, banter).  Have you ever noticed how many ideas come to mind when you take the time to exercise or engage in a game of some sort?  We need play in our lives.  We need to allow our mind to relax so that it can process through all of the information we take in on a daily basis.

My life has been busy lately.  With work, doctoral classes, church, and family I found myself beginning to stress.  At work, we have decided to have random "make them wonder" days just for the faculty.  Last month we had "duck dynasty" day and this month we had "swag" day.  The kids have loved it, but more importantly it has allowed the faculty to just do something crazy while at school.  Tensions lessen and people relax.  Their creative juices start flowing again.

At home I've not been having much fun.  We decided today to go on a long walk as a family.  It got my brain relaxed and helped me sort through all of the stuff going on in life.  I came back more relaxed, but more focused as well.  It allowed me time to process through everything, prioritize items, and come up with creative ways of accomplishing everything.  My family is too important to not enjoy life.  Play needs to be an integral part of my life to keep me focused and inspired.  I plan on making time each day to play, especially on those super busy days.

Here's an awesome God part in this story.  Wednesday is my birthday and I had been thinking about some small things that I wanted for my birthday, something I rarely do.  I'm not big on presents for myself.  After a birthday dinner last night I told Hank that I wanted to go by the bookstore and see if they had Dr. Michaelis' book.  I didn't find it, so I randomly DMed him on Twitter today to see if I could somehow get a signed copy of his book.  He will be back in OKC on Tuesday of this week.  I love when God does random little things like that just to show how much He cares for me.

#oklaed chat 10/6 questiond

Here are the questions for the 10/6 #oklaed chat.  The topic is ethical leadership.

What does ethical leadership look like to you?

What role does vision and purpose play in ethical leadership?

What does this idea of ethical leadership look like in a classroom?

How do stakeholders affect ethical decision making?

How can political and social agendas undermine ethics? 

What are some ethical dilemmas common to education?

How are these dilemmas resolved in your setting? Or are they?

What bold actions must educators take to act ethically?

Can true leadership and unethical practices coexist? Why or why not?

As #oklaed what do we expect to see from our leaders in regard to ethics?

The War Within

If you are anything like me you have times when you face intense intrapersonal conflict.  Times when your soul is battling between two (maybe more) ideas that seem to both be justified or pleasing to your soul.  Sometimes one of those ideas is clearly wrong, but we want to do it anyway.  Sometimes it is difficult to differentiate which one is the path to take.  

I've been facing one of these intrapersonal conflicts lately.  Having started on my doctoral program, I've been busy with huge amounts of reading, combined with the busy schedule of school activities and a home life filled with my husband and three kids.  My spirit has been torn because I'm trying to do it all.  Have I mentioned that pride is one of my biggest downfalls and sin issues?  I know that it is part of God's plan for me to be working on my Doctorate, but I also know the importance of maintaining my biblical duties as the mother and wife in our home.  

I've been beating myself up because I can't physically do all the things that I've got on my plate.  I am so fortunate to have a wonderful husband who has stepped up and sees the validity of my personal goal as part of God's plan for our family.  He is willing to fill the gap and to help out more at home as I have for him for so many years.  And while he was saying this over and over, I refused to listen to him and continued to beat myself up for not doing it all.  Why was I doing this??? The fact that I realized what I was doing frustrated me even more.

Then I remembered one of my favorite authors in the Bible, Paul.  He was always straight forward and said what needed to be said.  He continually struggled with this type of intrapersonal conflict and mentioned it frequently.  Romans 7 is filled with a description of his struggle with sin.  We all do this.  If you can't think of something right now that you struggle with, I would encourage you to be a little more reflective because no one is perfect.  

Check out vs. 15  "I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." and vs 22-23 "For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members."

Paul gets me!  He understands how frustrating it is to be conflicted in my spirit!

Here's the awesome part.  He didn't stop at chapter 7 and just wallow in self-pity.  Chapter 8 is filled with encouragement about life in the Spirit and following God's plan.  We are his children.

Check out vs. 14-15 "because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.  For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear but you received the Spirit of sonship.  And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' " and vs 28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

I am so thankful that Paul didn't give up and that he kept on writing.  I needed that word of encouragement tonight.  If you are anything like me and are facing a personal soul conflict, go read Romans 7-8.  It will bless your day and let you know you aren't alone.

Irons in the Fire

The week was our first week back at school with students.  We started on a Monday this year.  Oh my goodness, there is a reason we usually start on a Thursday or Friday.  Every child and adult in the building was exhausted by Friday afternoon.  You could visibly see it on everyone's faces as they walked/ran out the door on Friday.

That being said it was a wonderful start to this new year.  So many changes happening in our district and building, but we still had a peaceful and great start.  There is a peace around the building that is fantastic.  New initiatives are underway and while they may seem daunting to some at the moment I know they will ease into them nicely once they get more acquainted with them.  We added reading into the schedule for every student this year and have built in remediation during the day for students struggling to meet proficiency levels.  I'm sure I'll blog about these as we go through this school year.  I moved up to 8th grade assistant principal  this year as well.  I'm looking forward to working with the older students to prep them for high school.

On the home-front we have been attending adoption classes through DHS this month.  We have one more class and then our home studies this next week.  Once those items are complete, we should be ready to begin looking at child(ren) placement.  The classes have been exhausting, especially since they coincided with the beginning of the school year.  27 hours of training in the evenings is killer, but worth it.  The kids are super excited about the prospect of our new addition to the family.  Every time we return from class, our youngest asks if they said we could have a kid yet.  We spent the summer, simplifying our home and prepping for additions into the family.  I cannot wait to meet the child(ren) that God has planned to join our family.

This spring, our district proposed to start a cohort through the University of Oklahoma in the Educational Administration in Curriculum and Supervision Doctoral Program.  I am so excited to have been accepted into this program.  We began our first classes this past week, coinciding with the first week of school.  Luckily, we only meet once a week.  The workload will be tremendous, but the outcome will be worth it.  My husband is more excited about the fact that it is through OU than anything.  It'll feed his passion for college football more.  I am so thankful that he is so encouraging and supportive of all my educational endeavors.  

At church we are in the process of announcing our vision plan for the next 5 years.  We are unveiling it Sunday after church.  I look forward to these plans with great anticipation.  I'll be sharing more about it in the coming months I'm sure.

As I spent time with my kids this evening, I was thankful for the precious time I have with them.  I may have many irons in the fire right now, but God has a plan for each of them.  He will give me the stamina and endurance I need to stay the course.  I missed my kids this week in the evenings, when I was working on various parts of all these areas.  I am thankful that I am given time to enjoy them between the craziness and look forward to things slowing down a bit in a week or two.

Some may look at all the things I have going on right now and think I am crazy.  If I were looking from the outside in I would probably think the same thing.  Fortunately, I know the plans He has prepared for me, and I know the outcome will be good.  In the meantime, if I look tired, it's probably because I am.  Who isn't these days?