11/24 #oklaed questions

#oklaed questions 11/24

Finding the balance between building relationships and discipline with students

Q1) How important are relationships with students in your current position? What does it look like? #oklaed

Q2) Think of the most effective teacher/admin you know.  What does building student relationships look like in their role? #oklaed

Q3) How does a lack of relationships with students affect student learning? Examples. #oklaed

Q4) How do relationships, or a lack thereof, affect student behavior? Examples. #oklaed

Q5) If consequences must occur for student behavior, what is the purpose of the consequence? Punishment or discipline? #oklaed

Q6) Should discipline in the classroom (or in the office) be adjusted due to established relationships? Why or why not? #oklaed

Q7) If it should be adjusted, how do you handle noticed differences? If it shouldn't be adjusted, how do you handle SpEd limitations for example? #oklaed

Q8) How do you help other faculty members who struggle with relationship building or discipline that is off the mark? #oklaed

Q9) What professional development have you attended that you consider highly effective in these areas? #oklaed

Importance of Play

Tonight's #oklaed chat was about blogging and I realized it had been a while since I blogged last.  I put so much stress on myself to make sure that it is a certain length or of "high importance".  I'm not sure how I decide what an appropriate length is or what topics are of high enough importance.  Don't ask me, because I honestly can't tell you.  I've decided that is silly.

I originally started blogging to share my ideas with others.  However, if I wait around for lots of quality time to produce the "just right" blog it isn't going to happen.  My husband laughs at me all the time, because I have the Goldilocks complex.  I want things to be "just right" and it often doesn't happen.  Then I stress and get things done, and it usually involves tears at home. (That's a completely separate blog - importance of stress)

That being said, hopefully you'll start seeing more blogs from me.  They may be short and sometimes the topics may just be something trivial.  Sometimes we just need to relax and have some fun, even at work.

This brings me to the current topic - the importance of play.  I went to the Ethical Leadership Conference at the end of September and one of the speakers was Dr. Ben Michaelis, a clinical psychologist and author.  He spoke on the importance of play in our lives.  It was great and motivational, but I just took notes and went on to the next session like a good little doctoral student.  The idea stuck with me though and it has been percolating since then.  And like all good coffee, there comes a time when it's finished percolating and needs to be enjoyed.

Play is a natural part of who we are.  Sometimes as adults we try to suppress play, but it is so important to our mental, physical, and emotional health.  It helps us get to possibility in our lives.  It provides freedom and opens up the process to more creative and imaginative thought.  For adults, sometimes the play is physical, but at other times it's mental (word play, problem solving, banter).  Have you ever noticed how many ideas come to mind when you take the time to exercise or engage in a game of some sort?  We need play in our lives.  We need to allow our mind to relax so that it can process through all of the information we take in on a daily basis.

My life has been busy lately.  With work, doctoral classes, church, and family I found myself beginning to stress.  At work, we have decided to have random "make them wonder" days just for the faculty.  Last month we had "duck dynasty" day and this month we had "swag" day.  The kids have loved it, but more importantly it has allowed the faculty to just do something crazy while at school.  Tensions lessen and people relax.  Their creative juices start flowing again.

At home I've not been having much fun.  We decided today to go on a long walk as a family.  It got my brain relaxed and helped me sort through all of the stuff going on in life.  I came back more relaxed, but more focused as well.  It allowed me time to process through everything, prioritize items, and come up with creative ways of accomplishing everything.  My family is too important to not enjoy life.  Play needs to be an integral part of my life to keep me focused and inspired.  I plan on making time each day to play, especially on those super busy days.

Here's an awesome God part in this story.  Wednesday is my birthday and I had been thinking about some small things that I wanted for my birthday, something I rarely do.  I'm not big on presents for myself.  After a birthday dinner last night I told Hank that I wanted to go by the bookstore and see if they had Dr. Michaelis' book.  I didn't find it, so I randomly DMed him on Twitter today to see if I could somehow get a signed copy of his book.  He will be back in OKC on Tuesday of this week.  I love when God does random little things like that just to show how much He cares for me.

#oklaed chat 10/6 questiond

Here are the questions for the 10/6 #oklaed chat.  The topic is ethical leadership.

What does ethical leadership look like to you?

What role does vision and purpose play in ethical leadership?

What does this idea of ethical leadership look like in a classroom?

How do stakeholders affect ethical decision making?

How can political and social agendas undermine ethics? 

What are some ethical dilemmas common to education?

How are these dilemmas resolved in your setting? Or are they?

What bold actions must educators take to act ethically?

Can true leadership and unethical practices coexist? Why or why not?

As #oklaed what do we expect to see from our leaders in regard to ethics?

The War Within

If you are anything like me you have times when you face intense intrapersonal conflict.  Times when your soul is battling between two (maybe more) ideas that seem to both be justified or pleasing to your soul.  Sometimes one of those ideas is clearly wrong, but we want to do it anyway.  Sometimes it is difficult to differentiate which one is the path to take.  

I've been facing one of these intrapersonal conflicts lately.  Having started on my doctoral program, I've been busy with huge amounts of reading, combined with the busy schedule of school activities and a home life filled with my husband and three kids.  My spirit has been torn because I'm trying to do it all.  Have I mentioned that pride is one of my biggest downfalls and sin issues?  I know that it is part of God's plan for me to be working on my Doctorate, but I also know the importance of maintaining my biblical duties as the mother and wife in our home.  

I've been beating myself up because I can't physically do all the things that I've got on my plate.  I am so fortunate to have a wonderful husband who has stepped up and sees the validity of my personal goal as part of God's plan for our family.  He is willing to fill the gap and to help out more at home as I have for him for so many years.  And while he was saying this over and over, I refused to listen to him and continued to beat myself up for not doing it all.  Why was I doing this??? The fact that I realized what I was doing frustrated me even more.

Then I remembered one of my favorite authors in the Bible, Paul.  He was always straight forward and said what needed to be said.  He continually struggled with this type of intrapersonal conflict and mentioned it frequently.  Romans 7 is filled with a description of his struggle with sin.  We all do this.  If you can't think of something right now that you struggle with, I would encourage you to be a little more reflective because no one is perfect.  

Check out vs. 15  "I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." and vs 22-23 "For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members."

Paul gets me!  He understands how frustrating it is to be conflicted in my spirit!

Here's the awesome part.  He didn't stop at chapter 7 and just wallow in self-pity.  Chapter 8 is filled with encouragement about life in the Spirit and following God's plan.  We are his children.

Check out vs. 14-15 "because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.  For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear but you received the Spirit of sonship.  And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' " and vs 28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

I am so thankful that Paul didn't give up and that he kept on writing.  I needed that word of encouragement tonight.  If you are anything like me and are facing a personal soul conflict, go read Romans 7-8.  It will bless your day and let you know you aren't alone.

Irons in the Fire

The week was our first week back at school with students.  We started on a Monday this year.  Oh my goodness, there is a reason we usually start on a Thursday or Friday.  Every child and adult in the building was exhausted by Friday afternoon.  You could visibly see it on everyone's faces as they walked/ran out the door on Friday.

That being said it was a wonderful start to this new year.  So many changes happening in our district and building, but we still had a peaceful and great start.  There is a peace around the building that is fantastic.  New initiatives are underway and while they may seem daunting to some at the moment I know they will ease into them nicely once they get more acquainted with them.  We added reading into the schedule for every student this year and have built in remediation during the day for students struggling to meet proficiency levels.  I'm sure I'll blog about these as we go through this school year.  I moved up to 8th grade assistant principal  this year as well.  I'm looking forward to working with the older students to prep them for high school.

On the home-front we have been attending adoption classes through DHS this month.  We have one more class and then our home studies this next week.  Once those items are complete, we should be ready to begin looking at child(ren) placement.  The classes have been exhausting, especially since they coincided with the beginning of the school year.  27 hours of training in the evenings is killer, but worth it.  The kids are super excited about the prospect of our new addition to the family.  Every time we return from class, our youngest asks if they said we could have a kid yet.  We spent the summer, simplifying our home and prepping for additions into the family.  I cannot wait to meet the child(ren) that God has planned to join our family.

This spring, our district proposed to start a cohort through the University of Oklahoma in the Educational Administration in Curriculum and Supervision Doctoral Program.  I am so excited to have been accepted into this program.  We began our first classes this past week, coinciding with the first week of school.  Luckily, we only meet once a week.  The workload will be tremendous, but the outcome will be worth it.  My husband is more excited about the fact that it is through OU than anything.  It'll feed his passion for college football more.  I am so thankful that he is so encouraging and supportive of all my educational endeavors.  

At church we are in the process of announcing our vision plan for the next 5 years.  We are unveiling it Sunday after church.  I look forward to these plans with great anticipation.  I'll be sharing more about it in the coming months I'm sure.

As I spent time with my kids this evening, I was thankful for the precious time I have with them.  I may have many irons in the fire right now, but God has a plan for each of them.  He will give me the stamina and endurance I need to stay the course.  I missed my kids this week in the evenings, when I was working on various parts of all these areas.  I am thankful that I am given time to enjoy them between the craziness and look forward to things slowing down a bit in a week or two.

Some may look at all the things I have going on right now and think I am crazy.  If I were looking from the outside in I would probably think the same thing.  Fortunately, I know the plans He has prepared for me, and I know the outcome will be good.  In the meantime, if I look tired, it's probably because I am.  Who isn't these days?

Empowered

We all want to feel empowered, like we can do what it is we need to do to be successful.  Remember last week when I was feeling anxious and didn't know why?  I hated that feeling.  My husband is so good at encouraging me and helping me to focus on the positives in my life.  It redirects me and always empowers me.  I am so thankful that he does this for me.  Sometimes I just get overwhelmed and begin to doubt myself and my calling and purpose.  I know I am capable of being successful in the various areas of my life.  Sometimes I just forget and need a gentle reminder and the empowerment to continue moving forward.

We all have people in our lives that need to be empowered.  Who is your main supporter?  The person who encourages you and empowers you to press on?  Who in your life are you meant to encourage and empower?

Our children/family need to be empowered by us to try new things and know that we'll always love them even when they struggle.  Knowing they are loved no matter what will empower them to blossom into the person God has created them to be.

In education, we need to empower our students/colleagues to take risks as they learn or teach.  We need to remind them that the only true failure is when we give up, stop trying, and settle for less than the best.  We need to hold them accountable to being the best they can be.  This past week I was visiting with two teachers, who are fabulous.  They were at work on their own time working on lesson plans based on the changes made as we move to Common Core.  I could see the overwhelming look in their faces, that same overwhelming feeling I had experienced the previous weekend.  I am so thankful that I recognized it and was able to remind them of their skill and empower them.  They are fabulous and just needed that nudge to press on.

As a church we need to be encouraging each other to step out of our comfort zones and to share the love of God with others.  We need to be holding each other accountable to spiritual growth.  We need to be reminding each other that we have a God-given purpose and empowering each other to press on toward that purpose.  What greater encouragement could there be?!  If God has called us to carry out a task then He has prepared us to complete that task faithfully.  That is empowering.

What are you called to do?  Do you trust that you are capable of doing it?  Be empowered as you carry out those tasks.

Where's your focus?

I have had so much fun this summer.  It has been completely relaxing and productive at the same time.  My kids are at the age that we can enjoy doing more activities with them.  We were able to take a wonderful family vacation to Disney with my mom, stepdad, brother, and niece.  They were able to ride everything for the most part and really enjoy all of the parks.  We rented a house together and spent some quality time together as a family.  We figured this would be the last summer for a while to be able to do this since I'm starting my doctoral program at OU this fall.

We also got season passes to the OKC Riversport which has kayaking, ziplines, ropes courses, and a ton of other stuff.  It amazes me how active our kids are and how willing they are to step out and try new things.  We bowled a lot since it is free for kids during the summer and the pass for adults is super cheap.  Every time we bowled we made up different names for us by theme.  We cleaned out and simplified our house in preparation for the addition of another child when we complete the adoption process through OKDHS.  This allowed us to get some things done around the house that we've put off doing and to prioritize the remaining honey-do list.  It has been busy, but stress free for the most part.

My oldest is entering middle school.  She is super excited to be a part of the youth group at church.  She can't wait to pick up her instrument for band.  She is bugging every day about it and we just haven't made the trip to get it yet.  Our middle child will be in 5th grade and is thrilled to be in advanced math again this year.  She loves it.  Our youngest can't wait to start 1st grade.  Things are in full swing here as we prepare for school to start for them.  Supplies are purchased.  Backpacks are ready.  They just need to meet their teachers and await the first day of school.

And then comes the time for me to go back to work.  I usually look forward to this with great expectation, typically because like any parent I've had my fill of time with the kids.  But I've enjoyed this summer very much as previously stated...more than usual.  I returned to work this last Tuesday.  I am excited to get back to work.  I love where I work.  I love the adults and the children with whom I work.  I moved upstairs to be the eighth grade principal.  It has taken me several days to move my belongings and I'm still not completely set up.  I have boxes to unpack before I'll really feel settled in and focused.  I'm excited to see how all the new changes in staff, schedule, and expectations will impact our students.  

But, there is this anxiety that I have felt each night since returning.  I can feel it beginning as I drive home, rising in my chest.  I'm not sure where it is coming from.  I don't know if it is because I have sat in meetings and haven't done much else or what.  My to-do list is growing, but I haven't checked anything off of it.  Whatever it is, I need it to go away.  It is making the last bit of summer for my kids not so fun.  I want to finish out their summer with them in the same stress-free manner which we have experienced all summer long.  I need to focus on the great things in my life.  I don't even know what is causing the anxiety, so I don't know what to fix.  I have a great God and a great family.  I shouldn't feel this anxiety.  It is stupid.  I am so fortunate to have so many blessings in my life that I should be able to focus on those.  Lord, help me to focus on You and the blessings you have given in my life.